The news from my head

I just found the change font color function, so, don't mind if I do!
It has been a couple of very uneventful days here lately. In case I haven't complained to you personally about it, I have been awfully sick with a cold that I hope is going to be over soon but is lingering in my ear making me deaf and kind of dizzy if I tilt my head to one side. Soon I will have consumed an entire jar of honey, a little lemon shaped bottle of lemon juice, and who knows, maybe 20-30 bags of tea. Taking into account that each bag is reused once or twice, that's a lot of tea. I have watched a lot of TV, including a cheerful little old film today featuring the Swedish armed forces in training camp, which as far as I could tell involved a lot of practical jokes and chasing down cute nurses to ask them out for dinner. There were subtitles (in Swedish) which gave me at least a chance at understanding what was going on. I have slept a lot. I have patted a lot of kitties. Well, the same two kitties, but lots of times. I have not, however, done any thinking about what is coming up in the next semester, or how I'm feeling now besides congested, or what I want to accomplish before its really all over and I fly back to the US again. I am having trouble thinking, generally speaking, partly because I am asleep all of the time and therefore don't have any conception of what date or day of the week it is. Also, I haven't left the house except once since I got here, so I don't know very well what the weather is like. And most of my social interactions have been extremely cute and pleasing conversations in Danish with a three year old that go like this: JONAS "bim baum pffffftt!!" ME "bim baum pfffft!" JONAS " Bim! Baum! PFFFFFFFFTTTT!" ME "Bim Baum PFFFFFFTTT!!!"..., or this conversation we had a few days ago: JONAS "Now I am going to sit...HERE." ME "Now I am going to sit... HERE." JONAS "Now I am going to sit... HERE!" ME "Now I am going to sit... on YOU." JONAS "Noooooo!!!" Like I said, this is something I enjoy a lot, but when you don't know what day of the week it is, or what its like outside, or what people are saying most of the time, its hard to feel in control and clear and ready to do some good thinking. Also, I am a bit distracted by two things. Firstly, I keep thinking something is scraping on the outside of the house, like the time squirrels got inside the porch roof at home, when in fact it is the cat eating out of its food dish. Secondly, the fact that my ear is full of junk or something means that I can hear what sounds like approaching footsteps but what actually is my heartbeat pounding in my ear.

The problem is I feel like it would be really good to do some thinking. Before Christmas in the week after I left Stockholm, I was feeling really weird, every night I was having anxious dreams where I would be in a situation that I had worried about but had gone fine in real life but in my dream the things I worried would happen came true. It wasn't really dramatic, just stuff like I took the last piece of cake and in my anxious dream everyone was mad at me - JUST AS I'D FEARED! I still feel kind of unsettled, even though I haven't had these dreams since I've been here in Denmark. I was kind of fixating on all of the sad, awkward or upsetting things that have happened or could have happened, and it would just be really nice to have something else to fill my head with. Did I mention I am also compulsively checking my email and facebook? Yeah, I need something to think about. Wow that sentence just brought these two songs to mind. #1 That part in the Buffy musical where Buffy is singing that song about the apathy resulting from being pulled out of heaven by her friends to the dancing demon "Please, just give me something to sing about!" (replace sing with think) #2 the song in the musical South Pacific song called Happy Talk where bloody Mary gives relationship advice to the young Lieutenant who is in love with her daughter "Talk about the moon, floating in the sky..." (replace talk with think).

Actually, I see no reason why I shouldn't continue this exercise for the rest of the song. Maybe it will give me some good advice.

"Happy think, keep thinkin' happy think Think about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream, If you don't have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true?
Think about the moon floatin' in the sky Lookin' at a lily on the lake; Think about a bird learnin' how to fly. Makin' all the music he can make. Think about a star lookin' like a toy Peekin' through the branches of a tree; Think about the girl, think about the boy Countin' all the ripples on the sea. Happy think, keep thinkin' happy think, Think about things you'd like to do. You got to have a dream, If you don't have a dream How you gonna have a dream come true? If you don't think happy, and you never have a dream, Then you'll never have a dream come true!